Opinion » Maxed Out

The Maxies ...there's an award for that



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Arrogance Knows No Nationality Award: To climbers Jason Kruk and Hayden Kennedy, who took it upon themselves to travel to Patagonia, climb Cerro Torre and remove 125 bolts from a route they had no right to alter. And only one of them was an Ugly American. May your placements be sketchy and your ropes be frayed, boys.

But I've Never Seen a Bear S*#t in the Woods Award: To the resident(s) of 19-Mile Creek who objected to the Conservation Officer's order to remove mountain ash berries in order to keep bears from encroaching on the neighbourhood. Let's see the arguments were, (1) we didn't plant them why do we have to deal with them, (2) why are you picking on us when others have mountain ash trees, and (3) I've never seen bears eat the berries. Well hey, if you've never seen it happen it must be a myth.

The Wizard of Oz's Brain Award: To the scarecrows on Tourism Whistler's board that forced Councilor Faulkner off because they couldn't distinguish between a conflict of interest and the potential for conflict over his position with Squamish's Sea-to-Sky gondola. "I would not be just a nothin,' my head all full of stuffin', My heart all full of pain. I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry, If I only had a brain."

Money May Not Make Us Happy But it Certainly Keeps Us Entertained Award: The RMOW receives assurances from the provincial government RMI funding will continue with $34 million coming our way between 2012 and 2016... which is at least three years longer than this provincial government is expected to remain in power. I'm not worried.

And the Walls Came Tumblin' Down Award: I'm never sure if I'd be more comfortable living below the rock walls at Rainbow than I am living on top of one but with the remediation work being done, the falling rocks and walls, I won't be entirely surprised to wake up on the other side of Highway 99 one morning.

Thank You, I'd Rather Not Think About It Award: He's ruined Canada's reputation in the eyes of the world, he's selling off our future, muzzling our scientists, despoiling our landscape, mismanaging our finances, incarcerating petty and imaginary criminals, and systematically dismantling those qualities that make Canada, Canada. You know who he is and I'd rather vomit than say his name.