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Summer of Funny

The best of the not unfunny

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After some consideration, there was a clear winner, a second place, a third place and four stories tied for fourth. It was decided that first place equals $150, second place $100, and four third place prizes of $40. All of the stories will be posted online. We'd print them all if we had the space.

 

The Winner:

Whistler Land

By Jessica Jones

"Fairies only exist if you believe in them." - Peter Pan

Has anyone else ever noticed that Whistler is a real-life Never Land: a world of escapism and immortality where people go to never grow up? Just like Never Land, Whistler has its share of Peter Pan's - boys who come to town with the intention of never growing up and never do; Lost Boys and Girls - boys and girls who come to live in a fantasy land, but will eventually grow up and return to the real world; Wendy's - girls who follow boys they like to Never Land and spend their time cleaning the house and playing mother, until they decide they want to go home and drag their Lost Boys with them; and Whistler even has its very own Captain Hook and his band of pirates - Ken Melamed and the RMOW.

Most importantly, Whistler has its own fairy. Forget Tinker Bell with her tarty green dress, stroppy attitude and magic flying dust. Whistler's fairy is far more whimsical and helpful. I introduce to you the Dog Sh*t Fairy.

What? You've never heard of the Dog Sh*t Fairy? You've heard of the Tooth Fairy right? Well just as you would leave a tooth under your pillow for the Tooth Fairy to steal away in the dead of the night, so dog owners in Whistler collect their dogs excrement and then place the little white municipality-provided bags of sh*t on the ground for the Dog Sh*t Fairy to whisk away.

Perhaps you've never seen her as she is just as elusive as the Tooth Fairy, but if you close your eyes and listen ever so closely you might just hear the flutter of wings. But she doesn't actually have wings so that's probably just a Blue Jay, so close your eyes again and listen ever so more closely and there, can you hear it? The sound of a longboard and the unmistakeable buzz of an iPod turned up just a little too loud. And behold, there she is! Longboarding through the valley in a plaid shirt, skinny jeans and a pair of Ray Bans, whimsically picking up little white bags of sh*t.