Here's some free advice for all the Casanovas out there looking to save a little rent money this winter by moving in with their girlfriends — don't marry her if she doesn't like the same movies as you. Sure, people do it, (all the time) but it's a sad and lonely life when there's no one to share the popcorn with.
Movies and popcorn share a ritualistic bond, but it wasn't always so. In the book Popped Culture: A Social History of Popcorn author Andrew Smith reveals that the classic cinematic staple was actually banned from theatres until around 1930 when the invention of "talkies" (movies with sound and dialogue) democratized cinema and opened it up to illiterate audiences. Theatres of the day still wished to be considered high class, like a concert hall or opera house, so all snacks were banned. Enterprising vendors with steam-powered poppers would simply set up out in the street, however, and the longstanding tradition of smuggling outside food into the movies began.
Eventually theatres had to embrace the corn. By the mid-30s corn-less theatres were going out of business. These days, concession sales make up an estimated 46 per cent of a theatre's overall profits. In fact, a lot of the time it almost doesn't matter if the movie on the screen is good or not, it's just nice to go sit in the dark with a date and lose yourself in a bag of greasy popcorn.
Machete Kills opens this week at the Village 8 and it's definitely a "popcorn movie."
DIY cinematic cowboy Robert Rodriguez reunites with the legendary Danny Trejo (Blood In Blood Out) for this sequel to a movie based on one of the fake trailers from Grindhouse and the result is something like a Mexican Bond flick with the heart of Leslie Neilson's Naked Gun films. Danny Trejo is 69 years old and still snarling his way through heavy action scenes with a dedication that can only be described as Bronson-esque. Rodriguez matches that with Mel Gibson redeeming himself a bit as a maniac weapons manufacturer who teams with Demian Bichir's delusional crazed freedom fighter and, of course, there's a world domination plot, and a spaceship and even a new fake Machete trailer.
"Machete don't Tweet" and he doesn't reinvent the wheel either. This one lacks in more than a few of those snobby "high cinema" requirements like character arc or the laws of physics, but Rodriguez whips up plenty of blood, intestines, machine-gun titties and cameos/bit parts by a host of foxy femmes like Vanessa Hudgens, Electra and Elise Avellan, Jessica Alba, Sofia Vergara, Michelle Rodriguez and the always-awesome Amber Heard. Plus, Cuba Gooding Jr, Lady Gaga and Antonio Banderas all play the same character, a master of disguise named Chameleon. And "Carlos Estevez" a.k.a. Charlie Sheen plays the President of the United States (which might work out better than the way things are looking right now.)
If it all sounds a bit stupid that's because it is, but Machete Kills is still a pretty kick-ass date movie/litmus test/excuse to go eat popcorn with someone you think you might love.
The other flick opening certainly looks corny. Captain Phillips is the new Paul Greengrasse (Bourne) based-on-a-true-story flick about an American container ship captain who gets boarded and kidnapped by Somali pirates. Tom Hanks plays the captain and his accent in the trailer combined with the goofy title has my instincts telling me this one might be better suited to microwave popcorn.
Sticking with popcorn, Google Diner Popcorn Trick to see Mickey Rourke at his finest. Diner is the Download of the Week.