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Pique n' Your Interest

Living-by-the-Skin-of-my-Teethathon

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The passenger's side seatbelt requires a bit of patience pre-buckle. You can't just yank at it like most standard seatbelts. I give all first time passengers a thorough explanation of how the buckle needs to be slowly lured from its lever, like a mistress seducing her new lover: "Breathe with the belt and on your next exhale experience how well it co-operates." I have to say that this whole pre-departure process makes my passengers feel quite special, like they've accomplished something.

The stereo can be a bit moody. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It all depends on the weather and the turbulence of the road. Turbulence has been an increasing problem ever since my shocks disappeared. My car has officially become a low-rider like those wannabe truck-cars. The hood of my car tilts towards the sky like a speedboat. All I need to do now is install fluorescent blue "light effects" to transform my car into a Las Vegas hovercraft. A car bra would go along nicely with such a feature. I'd fit right in with those kids who hang out in the outskirts of Vancouver.

But I digress.

My mom once told me that being in debt helps build character. I believe her words promptly arrived sometime after my 18th birthday during a payphone conversation from my university dorm. I would also like to add to my mom's statement that being in debt has helped develop my current "svelte financial know-how". That is, being able to locate anything round and silver in between the mystery crevasses that exist between all car seats and seatbelts. I suspect this feature was designed by Ford himself, specifically for parking fee emergencies and 6 a.m. coffee runs when your debit card has been denied.

But somehow, even though most of the time I only have $10 that I can personally claim once the bank, government and muni parking ticket lady have taken what they are owed, I still manage to splurge on at least one sushi feed every two weeks, a bottle of red wine to share (or not) and a handful of quality skin care products. (As well as the most recent phonebook-sized edition of Vogue that could knock the wind out of a small child, random flowers for friends, a few rainy day rentals and a new pair of pink Wonder Woman underwear to go along with a day of watching rainy day rentals).

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