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Pique n' your interest

The Bong Show

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Need to tune your motorcycle or sled? Rev away.

Thinking about getting some new tires for the truck? Then go big. The headlights should be about eye-level for maximum intimidation. Hang the horns of a dead animal on the grill and you’ll look like the cat’s ass.

Voices travel at night so always be sure to use phrases like "cat’s ass" and other foul language in your casual conversation – that is if you think "they" can hear you over the sound of your stereo system, which should always be on.

According to bylaws, we’re not allowed to hang our laundry outdoors, but I don’t know anybody who’s been busted yet for this infraction. Also, think satellite dishes. The dish doesn’t even need to work, it just needs to be an eyesore.

Property values are a fickle thing, and nobody will die if they don’t go up for a few years. Let’s buy ourselves some time until Whistler finally figures out where they want to put us all.