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Pique n' your interest

Out of the loop

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I missed the Emmy Awards last week and it’s probably a good thing. Three solid hours of me scratching my head and asking "Who’s that guy?" would have gotten a little tedious.

You swear that it’s never going to happen to you, but it is already happening – every day I’m finding myself more and more out of the loop. Like my parents before me, I’m officially out of touch with popular culture.

I’ve never seen an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, although apparently it’s been on for five whole seasons now and is one of the top rated shows on television.

I tried to watch Will and Grace to find out what everyone was talking about, but I gave up after 10 minutes. It’s not that I had a problem with the flamboyantly gay characters or all the racy references, I just didn’t think it was funny or edgy enough to justify all the audience "woos" or the incessant use of the laugh track.

Is it me, or is TV getting louder? It’s probably me.

I tried to watch an episode of ER a few weeks ago only to find that I didn’t know any of the characters any more.

I’ve never seen The West Wing or a full episode of The Sopranos, and the bit I did see didn’t impress me all that much. Aside from the fact that the characters yell and swear at one another, I actually found The Sopranos pretty boring.

I don’t like Sex and the City (or is it Sex in the City?) either, an opinion I reached after sitting through just two episodes. I didn’t find it amusing in the way that the show obviously found itself to be amusing, and I didn’t find the dialogue or the stories to be all that shocking. To tell you the truth, I was embarrassed for the characters for most of the time.

I’m familiar with Friends obviously, but only the older episodes that are being rerun every half hour. I didn’t even know Rachel was having a baby until I read a scathing criticism from a Globe and Mail entertainment columnist who was of the opinion that a baby would ruin the show. Whatever.

I gave up on the reality TV Survivor series after the first edition showed me how petty and depraved people can be.

I didn’t watch a single episode of American Idol because as far as I’m concerned they all suck.

What shows do I watch? I watch a lot of sports, although in the last few years I’ve kind of fallen out of that loop as well. I don’t know who all these newfangled players are, and I’m continually being surprised by trades that happened two seasons ago. I hate most of the announcers, with John Madden on Monday Night Football at the top of the list – I miss Dennis Miller, and I’ll probably be saying that every Monday night for the next five years.

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