What would you rather? Be forced at gunpoint to watch a 30 film, 50-hour Sandra Bullock movie marathon, or have to kill a terminally ill puppy with a grapefruit spoon, knowing it will only take a minute?
It's a tougher decision than it sounds. Bullocks resume is riddled with rotten crap like Premonition, Miss Congeniality 1 & 2, The Lake House, The Net and Practical Magic. But a puppy, even one that's gonna die anyhow, is a hard thing to dig into with a serrated soup utensil.
Regardless, Sandra Bullock took home a Best Actress Oscar last weekend for The Blind Side, which she was pretty good in, but the night before Sandra was also rewarded with a Razzie Award for Worst Actress of 2009 for her role in All About Steve, a film that has the appeal of watching your family burn in a locked minivan.
Now, I've never been a Bullock fan. In fact, I've called for her retirement numerous times in this very column but I'm beginning to come around. No person in history has ever won Awards for Best and Worst performance in the same year. And by pulling off this baffling feat, Sandra Bullock sheds light on the human condition - life is full of good ideas and bad calls, great days and abhorrent nights, highs, lows, laughter, tears and more than a couple half-ass jobs thrown in along the way. The point is, what Sandra Bullock can teach us all is to stick it out, persevere, be a good person despite your bad choices and eventually you'll find (luck into?) something that works.
Jeff Bridges, on the other hand, kills it every time and his Best Actor-winning flick Crazy Heart is screening this week at the Village 8. It's a character piece and a country music movie, but worth checking out - Bridges is a master and Maggie Gyllenhaal is always awesome (and hot).
Also opening at the Village 8 is She's Out Of My League an R-rated love story comedy starring Canadian Jay Baruchel (The Trotsky, Knocked Up) as a loser/geek with a nasty ex-girlfriend who miraculously hooks up with an much hotter and more successful chick (Alice Eve).
Periodically dipping into American Pie-style comedy (semen jokes never get old) She's Out of My League has some good laughs and also carries enough realness to be somewhat believable. It should prove inspirational to all the teenage dreamers and dorks out there that believe true love overcomes all.
Speaking of love, and teenagers, that line-up of hungry little girls you'll see at the theatre this Friday is for Remember Me, the latest flick starring the most unlucky guy in the world, Rob Pattinson of Twilight fame. That poor fucker can't even leave his house without being swarmed by crazed Twi-Hards and horny cougars but somehow he managed to avoid the hoards and make another movie. Remember Me is decent, if you're into cheese-dick melodrama with the classic "outsider doesn't think anyone will understand him until he meets a girl who does, and then together, they heal each other" storyline. Pattinson is good in it though, he does his best James Dean and it looks like he can act after all, but this is a chick flick and a pretty pedestrian one at that. Full of characters who can't communicate with each other on almost any level, hence the prerequisite break-up scene in the third act. My recommendation: if you have a scrotum with functioning balls in it you're gonna want to skip this one and spend those two hours looking for a sturdy grapefruit spoon.