By Sean Wilken
Rory was having
another bad day.
He was cold, wet and
He was cold and wet
because he was standing in the snow, in some of the worst rain in his life, had
been standing there for two hours and forty seven minutes (by his last count)
and the rain, which he noted sourly had developed into sleet and freezing
water, had worked its way through every zip, opening and gap in what he had
been assured only that morning was a super-comfy and warm uniform.
The boredom was more
You’d think Chuck’s
death should have made life anything but boring. You’d think...
Rory was different.
For a start, all this
at his client’s insistence – as passed on by his supervisor – he had to be
there, she was going to arrive at any minute, her board needed carrying and he
just looked “so cute in the snow”.
Then there was the
small fact that Rory was a former Olympian. Olympians do not instruct and they
certainly are not forced to stand in the snow by a client, backed up by some
supervisor. A supervisor who had disappeared, gone skiing, informed Rory that
there was awesome powder up top, and was now drinking coffee with his buddies.
But all those causes
of boredom were, Rory had decided, superficial. Rory, these days, did not mind
waiting for clients. It was just that normally he would wait in a warm bar with
several large, comforting Jack D’s. No, the real cause was that, contrary to
current appearances, Rory was not interested in boarding and certainly not
interested in teaching.
After the “fall” (as
Rory described the incident involving the UK women’s curling team and his
subsequent exclusion from the Games), Rory had become a private investigator.
In Rory’s mind, this
meant slouched fedoras, London Fog coats, late night bars, smooth cocktails,
impossibly attractive brunettes with great gams whispering their intimate
details into his all-knowing, and let’s face it, over excited ears… All shot in
black and white with a very knowing voiceover. Probably with De Niro as Rory in
In reality, it meant
an escape from the endless boredom of driving backhoes and ploughs for the muni
or tow trucks for a local operator. All of it to make the rent. And where the
only release was trashing some 4x4 in Marketplace, or towing the sole vehicle
from an otherwise totally empty garage on a minor, technical infraction.