Opinion » Maxed Out

Maxed out

Party on, Grant



Hey boys and girls, let's have a party! Cake? We gotta have cake. Ice cream? Mmm... maybe too messy. But maybe. Mascots? Oh please, can we? Can't get too much of those cuddly fur balls. Besides, I hear they're out of work and nearly desperate. I wonder if they've still got the flying moose and beaver costumes left from the Closing Ceremony? The big table hockey players would be a hit.

Whistler's not quite ready to get back to work yet. Our Olympic hangover has joined forces with spring fever and, oh, what the heck, it all just feels so good to feel so good, don'tcha know. Can't we keep this buzz on for just a little longer? C'mon honey, hustle down to the corner and turn a couple of tricks, Daddy needs another fix. He's startin' to hurt inside. Reality's fightin' hard to get a handhold. Adult responsibility is knockin' at the door and that bastard landlord wants his rent. T'ain't fair, just t'ain't fair.

Of course, we're all going to have to work on that pesky councilor Lamont. What's up, Grant? Party pooper. What don't you understand about We're Whistler; We're Special. C'mon boy-o, we need a party. I mean, it's been like, what? Almost a week now? Sorry, what'd you say? Oh... yeah. Okay, it's only been a few days. But duuuuude! It's so, like, fun. We can all dress up in our red and white Team Canada sweaters, don once more our red mitts and shake our self-congratulatory booties till the Mounties tell us it's time to go home like good little boys and girls. Get with the party, gramps.

I suppose you want us to save the money. Maybe until we figure out how we're going to pay for that monstrosity of a bus terminal we'll probably never grow large enough to fully need. Or put a few bucks aside for this year's budget surprise, courtesy of Judge Adair's ruling in favour of those people who "love Whistler so much" they decided to sue us because they didn't like the price they got when the town expropriated their land 23 years ago. Or is it the potential cost of that rash decision to move the asphalt plant before spring turns to summer.

Surely it isn't any possible concern that we overspent during the Olympics to impress the rest of the world about what a cool place we are... is it? Naw, I didn't think so. That was soooo essential. Hell, you'd have to be a real Scroogester to complain about a little pop on your property tax bill because of that.

So 'splain yourself, man. You just gettin' old or has your time in a council chair made you go all amnesiac about what a total party dude you used to be? Yeah, I know how having a family can make a guy grow slowly conservative - not trying to be too harsh, bro; I used a small "c" - but if you need a memory jog, we can scare up some pictures of you back when you were more down with spending money you hadn't earned yet.