Opinion » Maxed Out

Maxed out

Don’t say it



As a public service, I'd simply like to offer this suggestion to everyone I've heard recently comment on the abundance of heat visiting Tiny Town: Under no circumstances - NONE - should you let your heat-addled brain allow your parched mouth to utter derogatory things about the quantum of heat crushing your spirit.

Saying something like, "Hot enough for ya?" No problem. "Sure does seem hotter than usual, eh?" Perfectly fine. "Wow, I thought that joke about frying an egg on the sidewalk was just malarkey!" Acceptable but you're bumping up against limits.

All of these examples have two things in common. One is a childlike awe in witnessing an event that, while perhaps foreshadowing a globally-weirded future, is nonetheless unusual 'round these parts. The second is a nonjudgmental quality. These are not complaints. They are not suggesting we are enjoying too much heat. They are not complaining about the too much heat we are enjoying. They are not likely to jinx us into that particular Canadian hell - a freezing summer.

Don't remember freezing summers? That may be a function of the operative effects of B.C. Bud. It was just last summer, July 11 th to be exact, when I had the disconcerting experience of driving into a snowstorm on the Clinton-Pavilion bypass not far from here. As unusual as that seemed, it wasn't at all out of place in last year's Summer Without Heat, which was largely unusual only because it was the second one in a row.

There is at least scientifically anecdotal evidence we were cursed with two cold, wet summers in a row because somebody, the year before, complained about it being too hot. Let's collectively try to not make that mistake again. You've been warned.

I'm not suggesting it isn't hot out there. Not even suggesting some of you may be finding it hotter than you prefer. But think of all the good this spell of heat is doing. Statistics Canada sent out an e-mail blast yesterday congratulating British Columbia in general, and Whistler specifically, for single-handedly kicking the GDP up a tick or two by purchasing all the surplus fans languishing on the shelves of Ontario and Quebec this summer since those two whiny provinces have been languishing in unseasonably cool, wet weather... B.C. weather as they refer to it. Couldn't happen to nicer places. Let's all raise an icy Piña Colada to them later this afternoon.

So, in the most popular metaphorical parlance being bandied about muni hall these days, think of the dire consequences of complaining about the heat as the stick. What's the carrot? All the things you can do around here to stay cool. In no particular order, here's a very subjective Top Ten.