Opinion » Maxed Out

Maxed out

Stupid decisions explained

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Now as stupid as this all sounds, the evidence is incontrovertible. Bill Clinton emasculated his presidency when Monica went all lollipop on him. George Bush set the country into a flat spin by invading Iraq. Can you honestly believe either man was thinking with his brain when he decided those things sounded like good ideas?

Closer to home, much closer to home, we have the Olympics, themselves the product of dickthinking and a suitable stand-in for the penis-fencing antics of a certain species of monkey. Women didn’t sit around and say, “Hey, let’s spend a few billion dollars and bring the Olympics to Vancouver.” Of course they didn’t. Women think with their brains 100 per cent of the time.

Was Stephen Harper thinking with his brain when he nixed including Elizabeth May in the leaders’ debates? Rhetorical question alert. Looking as uncomfortable as always, Stevie muttered something about the Greens and Libs being in cahoots as his rationale. Does that sound like something a reputably bright guy would come up with using his brain? Of course not. Like most men, Stevie’s afraid of the power women might wield when they finally realize they should be running things and start voting like they believe it.

Me? I’m all for it. Dickthinkers have screwed things up long enough and I for one will be really happy to turn things over to people who only think with their brains. Women of Whistler, are you listening?

Of course, every time I say that, someone like Sarah Palin comes along to make me wonder whether women might not have another thought centre too. But like the scientists in Geneva, I’m willing to take that risk.