had a dream. At least I think it was a dream
I remembered it when I woke up the other morning, but I
can’t remember whether it was a dream, something I heard
snoozing through council, or maybe
something read somewhere.
for the Resort Principality of Whistler had debated and unanimously — now
there’s a surefire sign this was probably a dream — passed a new by-law. It
read, in part:
Whistler is peopled
largely by thrill-seeking, athletic, hedonistic, transient youths, especially
those who have lived here long enough to grow older without noticing; and,
to Whistler go out of their way to engage in activities they wouldn’t even
think of doing at home and for which they have neither the skills nor the
requisite degree of physical fitness; and,
many of the people
described above — particularly in paragraph II — live under the delusion that
any harm visited upon them must be somebody else’s fault; and,
there are too damn many
lawyers in the world, particularly the USofA, particularly who work on a
contingency basis and advertise on tasteless billboards along the Interstate
that say: “BEEN HURT?
operating a tourist-oriented business in Whistler is offering the chance to
engage in an activity potentially harmful to the participants mental, physical
or economic health,
IS HEREBY PROCLAIMED
that Whistler is an inherently risky resort municipality. All people living in
or entering the boundaries of Whistler hereby assume all risks arising out of
any and all activities engaged in by themselves or others for the duration of
their stay, or the amount of time it takes them to just pass through town.
both ends of the resort boundaries, large signs were erected on Highway 99, one
after another, each carrying one of the Whereases and the Hereby Proclaimed.
And, like shrink wrapping on software, the final sign in the series stated that
by passing it, you agreed to be bound by the terms and conditions outlined,
otherwise, you should turn around immediately and seek another internationally
famous resort municipality at which to spend your leisure.