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Maxed out

JJ Geddyup: The Maxwell interview



Editor’s Note : This is Max’s 600 th Maxed Out column. He thinks it’s a big deal, law of round numbers or big numbers or something like that. Hell, I don’t understand him half the time either. But he whined enough about finding some suitable way of celebrating it that I decided to give him the week off. Sort of. I’ve dispatched his low-rent friend, J.J. Geddyup, to interview him. JJ agreed but pressed the point that if he was going to write the column, he was going to get paid for it. Fair enough.

JJ: So, dude, 600 columns.

Max: I’m not doing this, JJ. Where does Barnett get off sending you to interview me? Then paying you instead of me? I shoulda kept my mouth shut.

JJ: I thought it was your idea. That’s what he said. Besides, I need the dough.

Max: Whaddya mean you need the dough? I thought you were suckin’ the VANOC teat.

JJ: They fired me.

Max: What happened? Bring something in on budget and make the others look bad?

JJ: If you must know, I tried the old contractor’s trick with ’em. Told ’em I couldn’t finish the job they hired me to do without more money.

Max: Sounds reasonable. Whadya ask for?

JJ: Two million.

Max: Two million!? How gullible did you think they are?

JJ: Is that a serious question? Anyway, they offered an extra mil… but I have principles.

Max: None I’ve noticed.

JJ: Okay, I was getting tired of being their bagman. Hey, I’m supposed to be interviewing you here.

Max: So. Edit.

JJ: What’s that mean? Never mind. First question: Have you stopped beating your wife?

Max: What!!!?

JJ: Just kidding. Always wanted to ask a have-you-stopped-beating-your-wife-yet question. Okay, how’d you get started doing this?

Max: This is lame. Why don’t you just ask me my favourite colour or something?

JJ: Just answer the question.