Opinion » Maxed Out

Maxed Out

Swifter, higher, stronger trademark law



“See you in Vancouver,” I scream into the phone to my friend. I’m on the Sea to Sky Highway, on the road to Vancouver, driven by dreams to celebrate the impossible. I’d let the dreams begin back in ’02 when it became clear it was our time to shine because the International Olympic Committee had bought into the Canadian Olympic Committee and the Vancouver Organizing Committee’s game plan to be the host country for the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympic Games.

The organizers had put on a gold medal performance, faster, higher, stronger than all the other countries tripping over themselves to proudly proclaim, “We’re next!” Driven by nature, — and needing only to upgrade the road to Whistler — the bid boosters, bearing bumper stickers touting “I’m Backing the Bid” were already lining up sponsors, for the fire within burned brightly and there was no doubt the Sea to Sky Games would make the road to Beijing and beyond seem paved with gold… silver or, at worst, bronze.

Now it may seem, at first blush, those opening paragraphs make even less sense than usual, which is saying a lot considering how little sense this page often makes. But within those admittedly tortured 160 or so words, most of them fall under the protection of one or another trademark belonging to one or another of the various Canadian Olympic committees.

Following my normal practice, I would raise the visible notation “™” on each and every one of them. But I don’t have to any more. At least I hope I don’t have to. I’m uncertain. But then, that’s why Pique bought insurance in the first place. Not that we want to find out whether it works or not, given the slippery nature of insurance carriers and their hired guns, both of whom conspire together to find and/or create loopholes to avoid paying out for exactly the kind of perils you thought you bought insurance to protect you from in the first place.

No, I think I’m safe because the federal government is going to protect me. Stop laughing; I’m serious. It’s not that I have any drag with Stevie Hapless’s Conservative minority government. Clearly nobody outside Quebec — okay, maybe the vast hinterland of Ontario with the notable exceptions of Toronto and Ottawa but certainly nobody in B.C. — has much drag with those guys as they pander for votes by acting like, well, like Liberals, spending money like drunken sailors. As usual, that’s being grossly unfair and quite possibly slanderous towards drunken sailors everywhere. Sorry guys. But it’s not like you haven’t gone out of you way to earn that particular cliché.