Opinion » Maxed Out

Maxed Out

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“So whence the sudden windfall?”

“Got a steady-payin’ gig… at least until 2010.”

“Oh god, don’t tell me you’re working for VANOC. They’ve got enough troubles without you.”

“Can’t confirm or deny. But did you know China’s rounding up dogs so people won’t get bit by them when they come over for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing?”

“Dogs? Are you makin’ this up to keep from answering the question?”

“When have I ever lied to you, dude? They’ve passed a one-dog law and outright banned some big, vicious breeds.”

“Vicious breeds?”

“Yeah, golden retrievers, for example.”

“What, the Chinese government is afraid people might get licked to death?”

“Well, you know how those dudes tend to go overboard with such things. Whatever though, it’s the gospel truth. They’ve cracked down, rounded up banned breeds, snuffed tons of dogs. I can’t wait to see what they do with the ‘undesirables’ of the human breed when 2008 gets closer.”

“So are you telling me you’re spying on Whistler dogs for VANOC, JJ.”

“I’m not working for them. I didn’t say that. And if I was working for them, I wouldn’t be spying on Whistler dogs. And if I was spying on Whistler dogs… well, I don’t know… because I’m not. But that’s not what I’m doing for ’em. I mean, I’m not working for ’em at all but I’m sure not spying on dogs… dude.”

“I don’t know, JJ. I think I liked even the Holy Panini idea better than this.”

“I’m not working for VANOC.”

“I believe you. Honest I do. You wanna take a run?”

“Yeah. By the way, how’s Zippy?”

“That’s not funny, man.”