Opinion » Maxed Out

Maxed Out

The 2005 Maxies



Well, here we are, another year. And while it may seem like 2005 was several years long, it actually went by in a blink of an eye. Okay, it went by like a sharp stick in an eye. A sharp stick that seemed to take forever to get to the point… of which there was none, as it turned out.

If we were being brutally honest – and why wouldn’t we? Christmas is over, it’s time for New Year’s revolutions – we’d all have to admit, at least all of us who spent most of our year in Whistler specifically or B.C. in general, 2005 was, and I’m not trying to offend anyone by saying this, the shits. Strong times require strong language. I think Winston Churchill said that. Crappy times require potty language. I said that.

But there’s nothing much we can do about 2005 now except to be extremely happy it’s almost over and done with. Well, that and celebrate 12 months that quite possibly had less to celebrate than any 12 month period in history.

Quick man, somebody shut him up and get on with The Maxies: 2005!

Best On-Mountain Improvement : Might have been the tube park although I haven’t had the inclination to give it a whirl until all lanes are open and the snow falling on the course isn’t quite so liquid. But clearly a sign of the times, the biggest improvement has been the summer grooming coupled with vastly increased snowmaking. I shudder to think where we’d be right now without this farsighted one-two punch.

Biggest On-Mountain Paradox : In a year of spectacularly disappointing snow, I enjoyed the single best run down Whistler Bowl I ever had the pleasure of experiencing… EVER! A stormy Saturday following a stormy Friday. Fifty cms of white smoke, top to bottom with fewer than two dozen tracks laid down before mine. If you were there, you know. If you weren’t, my condolences.

Best Line Uttered Under Duress : "If we’re goin’ down, we’re goin’ down with shovels in our hands." Attributed to Doug Forseth but he says it belongs to Kirby Brown. Either way, the oft-maligned Boys of the Borg pulled out all the stops last season, moving snow by helicopter, snowcat and, yes, by the shovelful, in a year when lesser folk might simply have pulled the plug, all in a glorious attempt to feed the monkey. Made me ashamed of all the sniveling ingrates who bitched about what a ripoff last year was. If you don’t like global warming, sell your SUV.