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Maxed Out

A New Era for B.C. Bud


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Naw. I’m kidding about that. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

Heck, this is Canada. The RCMP wouldn’t arrest the leaders of the country and the province. Okay, they wouldn’t arrest the leader of the country. In B.C., the leader of the province gets arrested pretty regularly for one thing or another, B.C. being the only province where the Mounties actually have a special unit – known colloquially as the Crimes of Sleaze Unit or CSU for short – dedicated full-time to investigating crooked politicians.

The CSU hasn’t actually arrested any provincial politicians but they did ferret out some wannabes and hangers-on. Executing search warrants for "…certain offices and places known or suspected to contain information possibly related to the ongoing investigation… and or tightly-rolled $100 bills…." the CSU stormed the provincial legislature in Victoria, seizing boxes of files, computers, a collection of kiddie porn big enough according to one officer to "choke a horse" …. No wait a minute, I’m reading the wrong press release again. Strike the kiddie porn reference.

Anyway, they took a load of stuff from the offices of David Basi, ministerial assistant to Finance Minister Gary Collins – who was, ironically, also in Maui, having been asked by Slash to accompany him for high level budget talks and to be the designated driver just in case Slash fell off the wagon – and Robert Virk, an assistant to Transportation Minister Judith Reid, who wasn’t in Maui but had arranged with a local transportation company to shadow both the Premier and the Finance Minister just in case they both got blotto and needed yet an undesignated-designated driver.

The two ministerial assistants, who immediately claimed they "don’t know nuttin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies or organized crime, drug profits and the new Prime Minister…" apparently squealed like schoolgirls and gave up Mark Marissen, who was B.C. campaign chairman for Paul Martin’s leadership coronation and just happens to be married to Deputy Premier Christy Clark, who claims to not even know for sure where Maui is, and Bruce Clark, chief B.C. fundraiser for Mr. Martin, who is Christy’s brother and is reported to have said he’s sorry she ever married into politics.