Opinion » Maxed Out

Maxed Out

Enough with the tidings of comfort and joy



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Those who know me know I’m really a nice guy. But I’m getting really tired of being run in to on the mountains by people who can’t remember the difference between a closed course and an open slope, by people who think looking at pictures of New Schoolers doing tricks is the same as being able to do them themselves… by taking hits on crowded ski-outs, by people who’ve been lured onto slopes they have no business being on – Whistler Bowl comes to mind – by bad decisions to make the entrance easier to negotiate but leaving the slopes as challenging as they’ve ever been, and by people who just seem to feel they are the most important, possibly the only, person out there.

Be forewarned. The next one of you who hits me or the next one of you who I see hit someone else had better have a very close relationship with a friendly proctologist because you’re going to require a polectomy. Obviously shouting at you hasn’t had the desired effect since you learned to answer, "F___ off." Stronger action is necessary.

#3 No More Mr. Nice Guy

This one’s simple. We all know money is no indication of taste, brains or happiness. So why is money the only factor we take into consideration when we allow some carpetbagger to come in to town and start ripping up the social fabric of our community?

Again, be forewarned. If our elected leaders continue to fail to act to keep you wankers from razing good homes with rental suites and building McMansions without them, the incidence of monkeywrenching is going to escalate dramatically. The single best way to protect your property is to have a resident caretaker. Think about it.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling much more upbeat about 2004. Happy New Year.