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Maxed out

The Bush Who Stole Winter

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By G.D. Maxwell

Everyone down in Whistler liked Winter a lot.

But the Bush living south of the border, did not!

Young Bush hated winter! The whole Winter season!

Now please don’t ask why. To question him’s treason!

It could be his heart wasn’t in the right place.

It could be, perhaps, the cold wrinkled his face.

But I think that the most likely reason of all,

May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason, I’m sure I don’t know,

He sat in the Oval Office, dreading the snow.

Staring out squinting hard with a stunned, normal look,

He feared that the answer might lie in a book.

For he knew every Shredder in all Mountain Towns,

Was praying for snow, for a chance to slide down.

"They’re waxing their boards and preparing their gear."

"For Winter is coming, it’s practically here."

Then he scowled, furrowed his brow, and said, frantically humming,

"I MUST find some way to stop Winter from coming!"

For soon, very soon, he knew it would start snowing

If not he was sure the snow guns would start blowing.

And then! Oh, the COLD! Oh, the COLD! COLD! COLD! COLD!

That was one thing he hated! The COLD! COLD! COLD! COLD!

Then the Shredders, the Skiers, would all jump for joy

They’d leave their warm houses, they’d ride their best toy.

They’d WHOOP and they’d HOLLER, like some ancient beast,

Which was something the Bush couldn’t stand in the least.

And then they’d do something he liked least of all!

Every Shredder and Skier, they’d have quite a ball.

They’d relive the day, they’d remember it clear,

They’d bask in the glory, all feeling no fear.

They’d drink and tell lies and they might start to sing.

They’d stay until closing and Sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!

And the more the Bush thought of this whole Winter fling,

The more he just knew he must stop this bad thing.

"Why, for all of my life I’ve hated the snow!"

"I’ve got to stop winter! It’s all got to go!"

Then he got an idea. An awful idea.

The Bush got a wonderful, awful idea.

"I know what I’ll do!" Georgie laughed right out loud.

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