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Later on I meet some friends for drinks. theyre both female so I figure this could be another chance for some useful research. I mention the pheromone cologne, which results in more sarcasm.
"Oh my God its so strong, someone hold me back!" Exclaims one.
Yes, very funny, but at least Im making the effort.
"So what about you?" I ask the comedian. "What are you usually doing on St. Valentines Day?"
"Im usually single," she admits. "Or I have my period."
Im starting to think that maybe being single isnt such a bad option after all. I could be like Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, sort of tortured and brooding. Of course its romantic when he does it, whereas with me I would probably come across as some guy whos just really boring. Although in a way, walking off into the mist with Claude Rains does sound somewhat appealing (no not that way). I mean I could run around in circles trying to find someone to fall in love with and go to all the trouble of trying to figure out if she prefers flowers or chocolates, and think up cute sayings so she can tell her friends how sweet I am, only to wake up one morning and have her tell me Im not the one , whatever that means.
Or I could say to hell with it and go on as I have. Still, something tells me I wont.
Joining the French resistance and fighting the Nazis was never really an option. If Im honest with myself (I rarely am), I have to admit that I would be much more likely to get on the plane with Ingrid Bergman and let Claude Rains have the Nazis to himself. Which means that I guess Im not going to give up searching for someone to fall in love with (even if I dont necessarily believe in it).
So watch this space and maybe next year Ill be so full of nauseating platitudes on the virtues of romantic love that you will shake your collective heads and say "I remember him when...."
By the way guys, the pheromones dont work, but it doesnt hurt to smell nice.