Page 7 of 7
To win the gold for condom distribution Canadians are giving 100,000 condoms to 6,850 athletes and officials, a new world record of 14.6 condoms and presumably 19.2 encounters per person. The persons using these condoms will have to be careful though because the officials who approved the plan likely cut the .4 off the closed end. It is rumoured Canadian condoms will have on the packing two curling stones on either side of an erect broom with the motto "hurry, hard." I wonder if a sexual orgy is what Gordon Campbell had in mind when in his sales pitch he said Olympic athletes will inspire young people to be the best they can be. WTF eh? Why we will spend $16.4 million to prevent athletes from taking drugs yet extend drinking by an hour and supply condoms to facilitate equally self-destructive activities is beyond me. I think I must be missing the Olympic equivalent of military intelligence.
Lest you think I am on a "holier than thou" moral crusade I must reveal that in a previous life I learned from frightening experience how self-destructive it was going to be for me, to be involved in another person's reaction to "it" with sex. However, I can see myself being recognized above the rest of humanity as the dumbest human for thinking as long as I have it should matter that we don't self-destruct. Until now I never thought officials will probably hand out condoms in Copenhagen. I don't know how much an actual condom costs, but as a metaphor, it is priceless.