Why Two Cay: Housing for the Millennium. Yeah, just another
huckster’s dream up in smoke. The fear of having everything go kablooie at
midnight overcame the desire to be played for a sucker by every quasi-legit
businessman who thought we’d all be gaga to celebrate the changing of the
numbers, and the marks, er, guests, stayed away in droves. It turned out the
restaurateurs and hoteliers finally found the limits of the Greater Fool
Theory. People will not pay $100 for a hotdog or $500 to sleep on a cot next to
the mechanical room. Stupid peasants.
In the harsh light of working computer screens on January 1,
people are asking themselves if Y2K was a hoax; after all, we collectively
spent something like $300 billion dollars and nothing happened. This reminds me
of a member of my extended family back in the southwest. She is long on heart
and good deeds but short on what might be called smarts. Having paid an
exterminator for a monthly visit to the family casa for, oh, maybe five years,
she suddenly decided she was wasting money that could better be put to use
elsewhere in the family budget. After all, she hadn’t so much as seen a
cucaracha crawling around in her kitchen for, oh, maybe five years. Sure
enough, two weeks after firing the bug man, the place was crawling and she was
puzzled as ever.
But the most exciting news of the new year was not that
nothing happened to hasten the end of the world or that Wal-Mart would take
back all the extra flashlights everyone bought. The truly groundbreaking event
was my selection as Best Replacement Mayor of Whistler in Pique’s Best of
Whistler survey. I’m honoured. I’m speechless. I’d like to thank everyone who
worked so hard for this victory, my mother without whose labour I wouldn’t be
here, my... well, just everyone. I figure we’re not talking about a whole lot
of votes here, but given the pathetic turnout at the last election, I’d say
that’s in keeping with the true spirit of Whistler. So let’s not quibble.
I’m ready and available next time the Big Kahughna has to go
visit his folks in Arizona or schmooze with the power brokers on the Sunshine
Coast. And unlike others who seek elective office, I’ll be out front about how
things would be different with Max as Replacement Mayor.