ARIES (March 21-April 19): Would you like to shed your soul's baby fat without having to go on a diet? Do you want to supercharge your immune system, improve your memory for the events that really matter, and build the spiritual power of your sexual feelings? Are you interested in postponing forehead wrinkles, getting glimpses of your beautiful future, and diminishing your fascination with the media's nihilism? The secrets to pulling off these possibilities will be more available to you than ever before in the coming weeks. And what's the best way to ensure you'll gather them in? Open your heart. I mean really open your heart — with a relentlessly tender intensity.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): For a limited time only, you have
cosmic permission to suck your thumb and drool freely and murmur
"gaga" over and over again. More than that: You have a poetic license
to spend expansive periods rocking back and forth while curled into the fetal
position, either under the covers or on the beach, while singing little made-up
songs about everything you love. The moment has arrived, in other words, to
give yourself permission to melt into a pool of primal goo as you commune with
the music of the spheres and tune in to the hymn of your deepest longings.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): My Gemini friend Risa is brilliant and sophisticated. She speaks four languages fluently, and is one of the few people I've met who understands the theory of relativity. So then why is she fascinated with bad reality TV shows like "The Girls Next Door," which follows the lives of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends? How could she possibly enjoy monster truck rallies, which she attends now and then? What purpose is there in her encyclopedic knowledge of the toys favored by children in Kazakhstan, the diets of German racehorses, and the clubs of Chinese women devoted to reproducing antique European lace doilies? As an astrologer, I don't find this mysterious. I'm aware that for many Geminis, everything is potentially interesting, even information other people regard as trivial. It's all raw data to be used in the infinitely fun game of playing with ideas. And that has never been a more apt description of your tribe than it is now.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "I tell young people that the greatest paintings in museums are made with minerals mixed in oil smeared on cloth with the hair from the back of a pig's ear," says artist James Rosenquist. I hope that thought incites you to achieve pragmatic breakthroughs in the coming weeks, Cancerian. It's time to play in the mud and risk making a mess, if necessary, in order to translate your beautiful visions into earthy realities.