ARIES (March 21-April 19): Today I received this email: "Dear Chosen One: My name is Boopsky, also known as 'The Impossible.' I rule a small kingdom that exists in a secret place -- an island with abundant riches and rhinoceros playgrounds. To make a long story short, you have won our 'naked' lottery. Please come visit us to claim your prizes. We will carve a statue of you out of butter and strawberry jam. Your funny ways of walking and talking will be imitated by all of our citizens. Then you will be caressed as a monarch on a pile of TVs and sung songs to by our reincarnation chorus. Can't wait to see you be so happy!" I suspect you may soon receive an invitation as puzzling as this one, Aries -- an apparent blessing that carries mixed messages or odd undertones. My suggestion is to hold off on accepting it until you find out more about it. Meanwhile, make sure it doesn't distract you from taking advantage of a less flashy but more practical opportunity.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In order to capture the spirit of the landscapes he painted, French artist Claude Monet used to work outside in all kinds of weather. When I look at masterpieces like "Snow at Argenteuil" or "The Magpie, Snow Effect, Outskirts of Honfleur," I like to imagine he was so engrossed in his work that he barely even registered the bitter chill. I bet you'll be able to achieve a similar intensity of focus in the coming week, Taurus. You could be so thoroughly absorbed in an act of creation or a ritual of transition or an attempt at transformation that you will be virtually exempt from any discomfort or inconvenience that might be involved.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): What's going to happen for you in the coming week will be the metaphorical equivalent of gaining the ability to see infrared light with your naked eye or to detect the ultrasonic sounds that only dogs can hear. With this virtual superpower at your disposal, you just may be able to figure out how people's unspoken feelings have been covertly affecting your destiny. You will intuit lucid inklings about the probable future that will help you adjust your decisions. You might even tune in to certain secrets that your own unconscious mind has been hiding from you.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Devilish laughter revels in chaos, says Loyola University philosophy professor John Clark. "It's an assault on excessive order, authority, and seriousness." Angelic laughter, on the other hand, "expresses delight in the wondrousness of life and in the mystery of the order and fitness of things." I'd like to suggest, Cancerian, that the time is ripe for you to revel equally in the devilish and the angelic varieties of laughter. So get out there and seek funny experiences that dissolve your fixations and celebrate your life's crazy beauty. The healing that results could be spectacular.