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Free will astrology

Week of December 25

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Want to supercharge your luck in 2009? Get yourself some vivid new superstitions. The more outrageous they are, the more likely it is they'll generate lots of crazy sweet karma. You might want to draw inspiration from pro football player John Henderson, for instance, who swears he can trick destiny into working in his favor if his trainer smacks him in the face before each game. Former hockey player Bruce Gardiner might also be a worthy role model. To rev up his good fortune, he always shoved his hockey stick into a toilet prior to skating out onto the ice. JUST KIDDING, Sagittarius! In fact, I hope you will make 2009 your least superstitious year ever. Let's drink a toast to lucid logic, impeccable objectivity, and cool, clean reason! Add some compassionate sarcasm and loving satire into the mix, and you will generate lots of crazy sweet karma.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The most expensive bat mitzvah in history took place at New York's Rainbow Room in November 2005. David Brooks, a billionaire defense contractor, spent $10 million on his daughter's rite of passage. Among the stars he hired to perform at the bash were Aerosmith, Tom Petty, Nelly, and 50 Cent. Promise me, Capricorn, that if you get wealthy in the coming year, you won't blow your money on ridiculous "luxuries" like that. Here's a secret: The more high-minded you are in cultivating your dreams, the greater the likelihood is that you'll get richer quicker.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Imagine you're driving down a very wide highway that's 50 lanes across even though there are no lines dividing one lane from another. Speed limit signs aren't posted, and some vehicles are zipping along in zigzag paths at over 100 mph while others crawl along like old-lady turtles. Now and then you've got to weave your way through a congested area where many on-ramps all feed into the road simultaneously. You haven't seen an off-ramp yet, and you're not sure where to get off anyway. I figure, Aquarius, that 2008 had some resemblance to the scenario I just described. Luckily, I predict that no later than your birthday, you will find an off-ramp and exit onto an uncluttered backroad with great scenery.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "How do you slay the dragon?" journalist Bill Moyers asked mythologist Joseph Campbell in an interview. By "dragon," he was referring to the dangerous beast that symbolizes the most unripe and uncontrollable part of each of our lives. In reply to Moyers, Campbell didn't suggest that you become a master warrior, nor did he recommend that you cultivate high levels of sleek, savage anger. "Follow your bliss," he said simply. Personally, I don't know if that's enough to slay the dragon -- I'm inclined to believe that you also have to take some defensive measures -- but it's definitely worth an extended experiment. Would you consider trying that in 2009?

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