ARIES (March 21-April 19): Every day for 44 years, the German writer Karl Wilhelm von Humboldt composed a poem for his wife, the lively and brilliant Karoline von Dachroden. In accordance with your astrological potentials, Aries, I will ask you to briefly imitate his prodigious outpouring of creative love. Every day for the next two weeks, please find it in your wild heart to make a sublime, or at least gorgeous, offering to someone or something you adore.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A recent National Geographic article reported on nudibranches: colorful, oddly shaped slugs that live in the sea. The members of a typical species, Nembrotha kubaryana, are whimsical blobs of neon green swirled with orange and purple. The slugs are "blind to their own beauty," however, because their eyes can only register the difference between light and dark. The "blind to their own beauty" thing reminds me of you, Taurus — especially these days. Would you do me a favor and acknowledge your own charms more aggressively?
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Jack Kerouac made a "list of 30 essentials," themes that guided him as a writer. To mark your entry into the most expressive phase of your astrological cycle, I offer you a few of his guidelines. Even if you're not a writer, they can be applied to how you create your life. 1. Submissive to everything, open, listening. 2. Be in love with yr life. 3. Something that you feel will find its own form. 4. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind. 5. Blow as deep as you want to blow. 6. Visionary tics shivering in the chest. 7. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind. 8. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog. 9. Accept loss forever. 10. Believe in the holy contour of life. 11. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge. 12. You're a Genius all the time. (The whole list is here: tinyurl.com/6e93sm.)
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The tabloids report that Cancerian Tom Cruise has plans to build a $10 million bunker designed to save him and his family when the evil alien overlord Xenu attacks Earth, fulfilling a prophecy of his religion, Scientology. If the reports do have a grain of truth, and Cruise has in fact been considering the project, now would be an excellent time for him to begin construction. I'm not saying that I believe Xenu's on his way. My point is that you Crabs will place yourself in harmony with cosmic rhythms if you attend to matters that will bolster your security, help you feel safe and peaceful, and foster domestic bliss.