ARIES (March 21-April 19): Anna Renalda Hyatt, a reader from
Colorado, bragged to me about her prowess. "My capacity for expressing
love far surpasses that of anyone I have ever met," she wrote. "I am
a Sublime Genius of Love, a Master of Unconditional Compassion, a Virtuoso of
Deep Empathy." Your assignment in the coming days, Aries, is to compete
with her: Unleash a perfect storm of ingenious passion that will ignite subtle
revolutions everywhere you go. Explore the frontiers of smart love.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your teeth aren't white enough. Your laugh sounds weird. Something's amiss with the way you solve problems; I'm not sure what, I just know you've got a disability there. And as for your hair: Could you please change it so it doesn't make you appear so out of touch with reality? OK, now relax. Everything I just said was a bad joke — it wasn't true at all. I wanted to show you how susceptible you are to believing the lie that you should be different from what you actually are. The fact is, Taurus, this is an excellent time for you to practice feeling a total acceptance of and curious fascination with yourself. Try saying this out loud: "I am perfectly myself."
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): At the end of a recent school year,
only 37 percent of New York's high school students passed the
state-administered math exam. Instead of withholding diplomas from the other 63
percent, officials nullified the results and eased the standards for future
tests. Normally I'm queasy about lowering the criteria for success, but in this
case I approve. Math is absurdly overvalued as an educational necessity. There
are many other subjects that should get more emphasis in the high school
curriculum. Teach logic, not algebra! Teach critical thinking, not
trigonometry! My rant is a prelude to the climax of your horoscope, which is
this: Stop pushing so hard to accomplish a task that's really not all that
important in the long run.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): During a trip to India, my friend Jeff paid a boatman to row him out into the Ganges River for a little recreational cruise. When they got there, the boatman stopped and refused to move, let alone row him back to shore, unless Jeff forked over a surcharge. Don't let something like that happen to you in the coming week, Cancerian. Always have a well-planned arrangement, agreed on in advance, to come back from wherever you're brave enough to go. Be experimental, yes. Explore new territory, yes. Be willing to surrender some control, yes. But make sure you've got a return ticket.