By Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): The bad news: Charlie and Sharon Reed, a couple in Dallas, had their old VW convertible stolen. The good news: By the time police recovered the car three months later, the thieves had given it a new paint job, and had fixed its cracked windshield and dented bumpers. Let's make this your metaphor of the week, Aries. I predict that you, too, will be reunited with something you lost, and it will be in better shape than it was before you were separated.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the coming week, I doubt you'll misplace your keys or forget to set your alarm clock or spill soup on your shirt. While shopping, you'll be intuitive about picking the checkout line that moves fastest. If you take a plane somewhere, your luggage will show up promptly in the baggage claim area. In other words, Taurus, the little things in life will go well for you, reducing your wasted time and inconvenience to near zero. May I suggest that you respond to this grace period not by cramming in more busy work, but by giving yourself regular opportunities to enjoy the luxury of taking deep breaths and gazing at the big picture?
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You may think that the lights you see in the night sky are single stars, but most of them are not. They are binary systems, with two stars orbiting around a common gravitational center. Our lonely sun, with no companion sun, is a rarity. Unless, that is, we've been overlooking clues that our sun does in fact has a twin. Although the jury is still out, circumstantial evidence is mounting that our system is binary, and that somewhere out there way beyond Pluto is a brown dwarf star carrying on a secret relationship with our sun. If it exists, it's relatively cool and small for a star, and difficult to see, which would explain why we haven't actually detected it yet. Now I'm suggesting that something similar may be true about your life, Gemini: that you have long had a shadowy link with a counterpart whose destiny is intimately interwoven with yours. If you're ever destined to forge a more conscious connection with each other, it will be in the second half of 2007. And the initial breakthrough would occur soon.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): A reader named Michael McCarthy wrote to say he plans to start a new religion, the "First Church of the Rude Awakening." It will be based on the principle that having a pleasant life cannot serve as a motivation to seek enlightenment and salvation. McCarthy believes that no one ever bolts up out of bed one morning and says, "I'm so happy, I think I'll go meditate and pray and make myself into a better person for as long as it takes, so I can find God and say THANKS." Even if his theory is true (which I doubt), you Cancerians will be an exception to it in the coming weeks. I bet you'll have a series of epiphanies precisely because you're in an excellent mood, leading you to embark on a groundbreaking new phase of spiritual exploration.