By Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "When the first settlers
arrived in the New World, they were terrified by the vast open spaces,"
says Peter Anastas in the film
Polis Is This
. "They wanted to remake this unkempt paradise into a big English
garden." This is a scenario you should NOT imitate in 2007, Aries. Wander
out into the unknown with a cracked grin and a wild heart. Let it work its
elemental magic on you. Don't be too eager to turn the frontier into a comfy
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Though millions of other people may
be flirting with glamorous badness and crafty nastiness in 2007, I bet you'll
have a minimal attraction to negativity, no matter how interesting it might
allegedly be. Drama kings and drama queens may try to seduce you into the crazy
chaos they stir up through their addiction to pain, but you'll be pretty immune
to their temptations. Seemingly reasonable people might hope you'll buy into
their gloom and doom, but you'll be too smart for that. Congratulations in
advance for your determination to be free of the stupid suffering that so many
people love to entertain themselves with.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "Dear Rob: Did you ever hear of
that monstrous experiment in which a monkey actually died from lack of touch? I
often feel like that poor creature. For a while I thought I was being selfish
to want more love, but now I'm sick of that idiotic intellectualized
self-denial, and refuse to pretend I'm a self-sufficient saint who can go through
life feeling a chronic grey bathwater haze of half-assed passion. Is there any
hope? -Deprived Gemini." Dear Deprived: Good news! The possibility that
you'll be inundated with love is higher in 2007 than it has been for years.
Here are two tips to make it more likely that you'll be in the right places at
the right times to capitalize: (1) Make yourself supremely lovable; (2)
increase your capacity to give love.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): I nominate you to be the zodiac's
most successful complainer in 2007. According to my analysis of the omens, you
could excel at formulating brisk critiques and constructive dissent. You may
even have a genius for bringing the bracing intelligence of the heart to bear
on situations that are paralyzed by mind games. If you manage to fulfill the
potential I'm prophesying, you'll set in motion far-reaching ripples of
benevolent change. More power to you, Cancerian! May your grumbles and squawks
and protests be imbued with lyrical persuasiveness.