ARIES (March 21-April 19): Recently uncovered evidence
(http://tinyurl.com/gz865) seems to confirm the argument that Christopher
Columbus was a cruel, stupid tyrant who paved the way for the genocide of
Native Americans. But that's not the part of his story I want to bring to your
attention right now, Aries. Rather, I'd like you to meditate on the wisdom of
the bumper sticker I just saw: "Columbus did not know where he was going.
When he got back, he didn't know where he had been. But he had a great
adventure. And he did it all on borrowed money. There's hope for all of
us." Given your current astrological omens, there's substantial hope for
you to pull off a feat comparable to the one the bumper sticker describes.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): "Dear Love Doctor: Please send a
divine slap upside the head to the clueless guy I'm in a half-assed
relationship with. He's GOT to wake up to the fact that it's high time to let
someone, namely me, shower him with love. I mean, all the magic's in place.
With just a flick of his attitude, he could materialize me whipping up gourmet
Cajun cuisine in his new kitchen—not to mention spicing up every other
room in his house. Love Doctor, please cast a spell to get him in alignment
with cosmic necessity. -Overripe Taurus." Dear Overripe: I appreciate the
ability you Bulls have right now to envision the best and brightest
possibilities for your relationships. However, it's crucial that you give
everyone the freedom to bumble along, even if it means that for now they'll be
out of sync with the wonders you can imagine.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The last few drops remaining in your
chalice will soon evaporate. Your luxurious indoor swimming pool (you know, the
one in your fantasies) has barely enough water left in it to give a water bug
traction. And you haven't reached out your arms and cupped your hands in a
gesture of feisty anticipation for far too long. So what are you going to do
about it all, Gemini? Here's what I suggest: FILL 'ER UP! (P.S. The gas tank of
the flying car you sometimes take for a spin in your dreams is also on empty.)
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Pay close attention to how your
immediate past impacts the present. Just as the food you ate in the previous
two days plays a large role in determining your physical energy today, your
current mood has been shaped by the psychic environment you've been creating
for yourself recently. Here's the really cool thing: You always have a choice.
You can decide to fuel yourself with unhealthy food, mediocre fantasies, and
petty emotions, or you can scrupulously insist on high-class, first-rate stuff
that will make you feel good.