By Rob Brezsny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nineteenth-century English poet
Dante Gabriel Rossetti wrote a series of sensual sonnets inspired by his
relationship with his wife Elizabeth. Before he could publish them, Elizabeth
died. He was so distraught he placed the only copy of his manuscript in the
grave with her. Years later, though, he decided the love poems were too good to
consign forever to the oblivion of the dirt. He had the coffin disinterred and
recovered his work. I suggest you draw inspiration from this story, Aries.
Reclaim riches that you once abandoned or left for dead. Halloween costume
suggestions: grave-digger, archaeologist, miner, psychic medium who communes
with the spirits of the departed.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): "Jaws" is the most common
name for pet goldfish. Take your cue from this fun fact, Taurus. Identify the
mildest, tamest, most passive part of you, then push it in the direction of
becoming more daring, assertive, and courageous. If it helps to give that part
of you a nickname like "Jaws," by all means do so. Halloween costume
suggestion: a shark, Tyrannosaurus, dragon, or football player.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A sizable proportion of Christians are
addicted to pornography, according to a poll conducted by a major Christian
website (www.christiannews.christianet.com). It that's true, it's dramatic
proof of what psychologists say: that we're prone to be unhealthily obsessed
and possessed by whatever we demonize. Meditate on how this theme might apply
to you, Gemini. Investigate whether you're being hurt by your scorn and anger
and hatred. And please note that I'm not advising you to protect yourself from
people or things you judge as bad, but rather from your attitudes about them.
Halloween costume suggestion: a fundamentalist porn star.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): In December 1984, comedian T. R.
Benker told jokes for 48 consecutive hours at a restaurant in Mount Prospect,
Illinois. Last year, Ethiopian oddball Belachew Girma laughed nonstop for 100
minutes at a club in Munich. These two chuckle-meisters are your role models,
Cancerian. Your assignment is to stimulate massive attacks of reeling merriment
and potent doses of sacred revelry as much as possible, both in yourself and
others. Halloween costume suggestion: a court jester who relentlessly doles out
compliments; a smirking prankster with angel wings and a halo; Santa Claus with
a bag full of joke gifts; Lucille Ball imitating Sara Silverman or vice versa.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Most flowers depend on pollinators to
reproduce. Birds and insects brush up against a flower's male parts, picking up
pollen that they leave on the female parts of the next flower they visit. But
nature has created an anomaly that doesn't play by these rules. A wild orchid
fecundates itself. Its male bits actually move, carrying out a complicated
maneuver to reach around and down to deposit pollen directly into its female
portions. This orchid is your power symbol, Leo. I hope it encourages you to
learn more about self-fertilization--to increase your mastery of the
underappreciated art of inspiring and teaching and taking care of yourself.
Halloween costume suggestion: a hermaphrodite carrying a wild orchid.