By Rob Breszny
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 1986, an accident at the Chernobyl power plant in the Ukraine caused a nuclear meltdown. Radioactive waste spewed into the air, making the area uninhabitable. Twenty years later, humans are still absent, but wildlife is thriving. Native populations of badgers, wild boars, and deer have multiplied, and species that had disappeared before the disaster, like the lynx and eagle owl, have returned in abundance. Birds are even nesting in the steel and concrete "sarcophagus" built over the exploded reactor. This is not to say that everything's peachy. There are many problems lingering from the original devastation. I propose to you, Aries, that the situation in Chernobyl is a metaphor for something in your personal life. A place within you that endured a trauma has rebounded surprisingly, though it's still wounded. Take inventory, then raise the ante on the healing process.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The UK is populated by hordes of "overweight, alco-pop-swilling, sex-and-celebrity-obsessed television addicts," according to the travel book Rough Guide to England . I recommend, therefore, that you avoid traveling to that part of the world if you're a sensitive person who's susceptible to taking on the attitudes of the people around you. The astrological omens suggest that you should take stringent measures to exorcise any impulses you might have to indulge in excessive consumption of bad food, numbing intoxicants, superficial sex, dumbed-down entertainment, and mindless gossip about famous lightweights. For that matter, you should be ruthless in sealing yourself off from influences that tend to bring out the worst and the mediocre parts of you.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The wife of pro baseball pitcher Chris Benson has made public her desire to experience a wide array of erotic diversity while remaining faithful to her husband. "I would like to have sex with Chris in every major league stadium in North America," Anna Benson told the press. She's your role model for the coming week, Gemini. Your assignment is to expand the variety and explore the frontiers of your familiar pleasures.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): A reader named Amanda Jarosz has offered an alternative to the traditional name for our astrological sign: Canswer , a blend of "can" and "answer." It's not a viable long-term solution, but it would make a lot of sense in the immediate future. Here's why. According to my analysis of the omens, you'll be able to get a useful answer to just about any question as long as you craft it with thoughtful precision. So for example, "How can I get more love?" is a sloppy formulation that won't yield fruitful insights, whereas "What long-term plan can I set in motion that will help me earn more of the care and blessings I deserve from doing what I'm good at?" will be a gem.