ARIES (March 21-April 19): Three years before Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code came out, my book The Televisionary Oracle was published. In it, I riffed extensively on Mary Magdalene's role as Jesus's consort, collaborator, and co-creator of Christianitysimilar in ways to Brown's themes. Sales of my tome are approaching 10,000, while Brown's have topped 61 million. Why the contrast? His work is a linear detective story, while mine is an experimental blend of magical realism, prophetic philosophy, and oracular poetry. His characterizations and plot hew to established conventions of mainstream fiction, while mine spring from my muse and real life. The difference between our approaches is comparable to the choice you have ahead of you, Aries. You can opt for greater popularity and loyalty to convention, or you can choose to be more of a secret as you rigorously follow the promptings of your inner voice.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can the buggers is to use a larger can . So says Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics. I urge you to keep that in mind during the coming week, Taurus. You or someone close to you may suffer from a blissful mania or temporary insanity that leads them to think that liberating the canned worms is a wise idea. Maybe it will ultimately prove to be the right thing to do, but it could cause a ruckus in the short run. In any case, make it your job to have a barrel-size can on hand for the re-containment.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Recently a team of a thousand workers spent a week scraping off 600,000 wads of chewing gum that had become bonded to the surface of Beijing's Tiananmen Square. If you choose to accept it, Gemini, your assignment in the coming week is to carry out a procedure comparable to China's massive, intricate effort to wipe the slate clean. It may be time-consuming and a bit excruciatingthe equivalent of shuffling around for hours on your hands and kneesbut in retrospect I think you'll be very glad you did it. Its surprisingly cathartic effect will make you smarter and wilder and kinder and trickier.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): This will be an excellent timemaybe one of the best weeks everto try herding cats, coaxing hermits to do karaoke, and getting anorexics to eat veggie burgers with all the fixings. In other words, Cancerian, the once-inconceivable may become likely. The adventures you swore you would never have the courage to attempt are suddenly within your capacity. You can at least partially dissolve the one fear you've always believed would hobble you forever.