ARIES (March 21-April 19): Is the planet running out of oil? Some experts say yes, others say no. Secretly, part of me hopes we are. If forced to use less of the tragically magic fuel, we'd get at least some relief from the ongoing catastrophe of global warming. But the whole discussion may become irrelevant in light of the existence of oil shale. It's a rock that when heated releases the abundant oil hidden within it. Though expensive to access, two trillion barrels of the stuff lie untapped beneath the surface of America's Rocky Mountains. "That's more than all the proven oil reserves of crude oil in the world," reports The Denver Post . This is an apt metaphor for your life, Aries. You may seem to be running out of a resource that has energized you for a long time. The truth is, there's more to be had, but you'll have to work harder to get it.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A few people look at the world through rose-colored glasses. Many, on the other hand, peer out through crap-colored glasses. Both are unable to see the world as it really is, but instead allow their perceptions to be filtered through a distorted lens. Your assignment, Taurus, is to take off the colored glasseswhatever hue they may beso that you can gaze at your surroundings with fresh, lucid, fixation-free eyes.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It's Makeover Season, Gemini. This would be a perfect astrological moment to get your whole body tattooed, start wearing wigs of varying color and length, and have a cosmetic surgeon reshape your face to resemble that of your favorite celebrity. JUST KIDDING! I was exaggerating. The omens do suggest it's a good time to experiment with your physical appearance and make adjustments in your persona, but not as drastically as I first suggested.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Listen to poet Robert Bly's description of you: You came into this world as a radiant package of cosmic wonders, as an unspeakably sublime bolt of primordial resonance, as a barely coalesced jumble of blinding beautyand yet all your parents wanted was a good little girl or a good little boy. You should mourn for that discrepancy, advises Bly. He encourages you also to mourn for the fact that you then constructed a false personality in order to please your parents and thus be able to survive emotionally. Now here's what I have to say about all that: It's a perfect astrological time to express your grief for these calamities, then heal yourself from their damage and start becoming the marvel you were born to be.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Some psychologists believe it's pretty easy to get people to think they remember specific events that didn't actually occur. I don't have the expertise to determine whether or not that's true. But just in case it is, let's see if we can take advantage of it. The astrological omens are in our favor: They suggest that your memories are especially malleable right now, and that your imagination is so robust that it could overwhelm so-called objective reality with its inventions. Here's what I propose: Visualize in detail, complete with a sensation of effusive emotions, the fabricated memory of some unbelievably happy experience that happened to you when you were four years old.