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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): KFC is test-marketing a flamboyant new menu item at selected restaurants in the U.S. This remarkable delicacy is an exotic sandwich that consists of bacon, two servings of cheese, and special sauce, all held together not by bread but by two slabs of fried chicken. I nominate this spectacular creation to be your earthy metaphor of the week. In accordance with the astrological omens, I hope it inspires you to head out to the frontiers of extravagance in both your spiritual affairs and your romantic life. The coming days will be an ideal time to pray to both Christ and the Goddess while making love, for example, or to get sandwiched between two delicious devotees while meditating naked, or to perform a boisterous ritual to invoke emotional riches with the help of a genius of love.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It's Build Up Your Confidence by Any Means Possible Week - for Virgos only. During this holiday, you have an astrological mandate as well as a poetic license to pluck the easy victories. So go ahead and solve the kinds of riddles that are your specialty. Arrange to be in situations where your perspective is desperately needed. Put yourself in the presence of people who think you're a gift to the human race and subtly encourage your secret admirers to be less secretive. If you have any trophies or awards, make them more visible. There's no shame in bragging this week, Virgo, but for best results do it with your best understated elegance.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): My first demand is that you weed out the wishy-washy wishes and lukewarm longings that keep you distracted from your burning desires. My second demand is that you refuse to think that anyone else knows better than you what dreams will keep your life energy humming with maximum efficiency and beauty. Now please repeat the following assertions about 20 times: "I know exactly what I want. I know exactly what I don't want. I know exactly what I kind of want but I won't waste my time on it any more because it sidetracks me from working on what I really really want."
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Ants may literally be crawling in your pants as you pull off a savvy coup or a brilliant stroke. An annoying pest may try to distract you at about the same time that movers and shakers are tuning in to your magnificence. But I don't mean to imply that minor irritants will undermine your victories. I think you're too unbeatable for that to happen. At worst, you'll have a mild headache as you receive your reward or stumble slightly as you stride into the spotlight.