ARIES (March 21-April 19): My Aries friend David's acupuncturist diagnosed his current condition as an "encroachment of phlegm in his triple heater." That's also an apt metaphorical description of what's going on in your psyche. Your internal engine — the fire in your belly — is a bit clogged by a sluggish stream of swampy, snotty feelings. I suggest you take action to purge this creeping effluvia. A good way to start would be to do what Gestalt dream workers do: Imagine that the effluvia can speak, and ask it to tell you what it wants.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Borrowing some words of poet Eliza Acton and mixing them with mine, I've prepared a love note for you to use as your own. Feel free to give these words to the person whose destiny needs to be woven more closely together with yours. "I love you as a glad bird loves the freedom of its wings. I love you as I love the first lily of spring exploding with clear fragrance in the moonlight. I love you as I love the swell and hush of a low melody that brings the past to life again. I love you as I love the tone of a soft-breathing dawn whose soul has awaken for me alone."
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In Greek mythology, the Procrustean bed was a torture device. Anyone foolish enough to lie down on it would be forcibly modified in order to fit its exact dimensions. A person who was smaller than the bed would be painfully stretched and those who were too big would have their body parts amputated. I beg you not to climb into any situation that resembles that bed, Gemini. You need an adaptable niche that will adjust to your unique needs and talents, not a rigid pigeonhole that squeezes and bullies you into assuming its shape.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "Dear Rob the Astrologer: I recently discovered your column, and I like it. But I'm wondering if I'm approaching it in the right way. Although I'm a Crab, all 12 of your horoscopes seem to make sense to me and describe how I feel. Is this OK? - Curious in Austin." Dear Curious: You Cancerians are very versatile and empathetic these days. Given how open you are to being taught from every angle, you have my blessing to glean useful information from the horoscopes for all of the signs. This phenomenon will probably run its course by September 23, and after that you may find that only the Cancer horoscope really works for you.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I'm not so interested in predicting the future as I am in creating the future. Why waste even a minute worrying about how things will turn out when you can devote your energy to making things turn out the way you want? It's true that in the horoscopes I offer you, I speculate about what may be coming. But my purpose in doing so is to describe favorable scenarios that you can use your willpower to manifest. Right now, for instance, I won't prophesy, "You may soon be blessed with a valuable new resource." Rather, I'll say, "Get out there, Leo, and acquire a tool or fuel or asset that will help you become more practical about fulfilling one of your dreams."