ARIES (March 21-April 19): Work can be hazardous for the actors who portray cartoon and fairy tale characters at Disney theme parks. The U.S. Health and Safety Administration reports that one-third of them have suffered on-the-job injuries. A prime cause of the mayhem: kids who kick and punch, sometimes out of misplaced exuberance and other times out of Lord-of-the-Flies-style malice. I wanted to preface my advice to you with that story, Aries. Your assignment this week is to summon the angelic 85 percent of your inner child to come out and play. As for the other 15 percent — the part of your inner child that might be inclined to pummel Mickey Mouse or headbutt Cinderella: Keep that rascal under wraps.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Sometimes hope is an irrelevant waste
of time, even a stupid self-indulgence. Let's say, for instance, that I'm
really hoping that a certain disagreeable person I've got to communicate with
won't answer when I call on the phone. That way I can simply leave a message on
his voice mail and avoid an unpleasant exchange. But it doesn't matter what I
hope. The guy will either answer or not, regardless of what I want. But there
is another kind of hope that's invigorating and transformative. Let's say I
have a hope that we humans will reverse the environmental catastrophes we're
perpetrating. Let's say that my hope motivates me to live more sustainably and
to inspire others to live more sustainably. Then my hope is a catalyst.
Meditate on these things, Taurus. It's a perfect time for you to get very clear
about the two kinds of hope.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Futurist magazine predicts that by 2025, there'll be a billion millionaires in the world. I hope you will be one of them. If you do end up in that fortunate position, it may well be because of the smart, aggressive actions you initiate in the next four months. Cosmic tendencies are in place for you to ensure your prosperity well into the future; now all you have to do is understand and capitalize on those tendencies. Here's a good place to start: Spend some quality time taking inventory of your financial life and brainstorming about a 17-year plan to make you a millionaire.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The world record for attaching clothespins to one's face is 153. Even if you're tempted to surpass that mark, I beg you not to. Inflicting pain on yourself in order to impress someone or prove a point is never a good idea, but it's an especially misguided notion right now. I wouldn't object, however, if you did the opposite, which is to barrage yourself with pleasure in order to impress someone or prove a point. In my astrological opinion, it's a perfect time to intensify your commitment to making yourself feel good. This is true for many reasons, but here's one of the most important ones: It will have a magically tonic effect on your relationships with others.