ARIES (March 21-April 19): I hope you've been trying to bolster your stick-to-it-iveness, Aries. I trust you've been pumping up your follow-through and supercharging your determination. If you haven't been attending to this unglamorous yet heroic work, play catch-up. Your final exam will be administered no later than May 24. Here's a sneak preview of some of the material you'll be tested on. If a teammate drops the ball, do you: a. quit the game; b. throw the ball in your teammate's face; c. pick up the ball and start running in the direction your teammate was supposed to?
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The daytime TV soap opera
Young and the Restless
has been the most
highly-rated show in its time slot for more than a thousand consecutive weeks.
First appearing in 1973, the show ascended to the top slot in 1988 and has
never slipped since. I'm happy to announce that in 2008 you have the potential
to begin a comparable run of success, Taurus. Whether you're able to cash in on
that potential may depend on the preparations you make in the coming weeks.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "Pain is weakness leaving the
body," says fitness trainer Mark Duval. If that's true, you have gotten a
lot stronger in recent weeks. By my astrological reckoning, you've shed a few
months' worth of emotional distress, you've purged a few years' worth of
frustration, and you've exorcised a couple of lifetimes' worth of confused
dreams. Congratulations on all the new vitality you've earned through your
CANCER (June 21-July 22): As part of the arrangement your soul entered into before you were born, you were given the mission to accomplish five specific miracles. Three of these you have not yet even guessed the nature of. Why? For one thing, none of your elders or teachers ever named them for you while you were growing up. Secondly, you have been overly timid about imagining what you're capable of. That's the bad news, Cancerian. The good news is that you're very close to the mystery spot where one of those undiscovered dreams has been moldering.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "The maxim for any love affair," wrote Charles Williams, "is 'Play and pray, but do not pray when you are playing and do not play when you are praying.' We cannot yet manage such simultaneities." But I strongly disagree with Williams, especially in regards to your destiny in the coming weeks. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you can and should play while you pray, and pray while you play. In fact, I recommend that you blend reverence and irreverence in every way you can imagine. Explore the revolutionary concept of sacred fun.