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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you use email, you have a spam filter. You block out the sales pitches, fake information, and random noise that constantly flow toward your inbox. In the coming week, I urge you to expand your concept of what constitutes spam by shielding yourself against all the other junk food for thought that besieges you. Be ruthlessly discerning about the toxins that spew from the radio, TV, Web, newspapers, and magazines. Minimize your contact with narcissists who think "conversation" consists of you soaking up their compulsive self-revelations. You might even erect a psychic spam filter to repel the fearful images that sometimes bubble up from your subconscious mind.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Art critic Simon Schama prefers not to think of Van Gogh's Wheatfield With Crows as the work of an unhappy madman battling with suicidal urges. Rather, he prefers to see it as the seminal masterpiece of a modern genius who launched modern painting. Without denying that the first theory has some validity, he chooses to emphasize the truth of the second interpretation. I urge you to adopt a similar approach as you evaluate the meaning of recent events in your life: Don't repress the pain they unleashed, but on the other hand, play up and celebrate their gloriously redemptive aspects.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Of all the signs in the zodiac, you routinely enjoy the most interesting problems. No one else can compete with your talent for dreaming up original sins, either. I expect that in the coming weeks, you'll once again assert your mastery in these two areas, leaving the rest of us muttering in amazed awe as we behold the beautiful, stinking, useful, hellacious, intriguing messes you stir up. Congratulations in advance for the resourcefulness and courage I know you will summon from the abyss of your subconscious mind.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Homer Simpson, star of the TV show "The Simpsons," has a continually evolving list of the many feats he hopes to accomplish in his life. Among the fantasies that have come true for him are being the manager of a country-western singer, keeping a diary while living in the wilderness, devouring the world's most massive hoagie, and seeing Steve Nicks naked. In accordance with your astrological omens, Homer is your role model in the coming week. May he inspire you to carry out one of your lifelong dreams, and to add three more lifelong dreams to your list for the future.