ARIES (March 21-April 19): Here's the curious message I derived from the current astrological configurations: It's one of those rare times when a wall may actually help bring people together. How? Why? The omens don't reveal that specific information. They only tell me that what seems like a barrier might end up serving as a connector. An influence that in other situations would tend to cause separation will in this case be likely to promote unity. Capitalize on this anomaly, Aries!
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In my first dream last night, I gave you a holy book that you left out in the rain. In my second dream, I cooked you some chicken soup that you didn't eat. My third dream was equally disturbing. I assigned you some homework that would have helped you discover important clues about tending to your emotional health. Alas, you didn't do the homework. In the morning, I woke up from my dreams feeling exasperated and worried. But later I began to theorize that maybe they weren't prophecies, but rather helpful warnings. Now that you've heard them, I'm hoping you will become alert to the gifts you've been ignoring and take advantage of the healing opportunities you've been neglecting.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): There's a good chance that your rhythm in the coming days will resemble a gentle, continuous orgasm. It won't be stupendously ecstatic, mind you. I'm not predicting massive eruptions of honeyed bliss that keep blowing your mind. Rather, the experience will be more like a persistent flow of warm contentment. You'll be constantly tuning in to a secret sweetness that thrills you subliminally. Again and again you will slip into a delicious feeling that everything is unfolding exactly as it should be. Warning! There are two factors that could possibly undermine this blessing: 1. if you scare it away with blasts of cynicism; 2. if you get greedy and try to force it to become bigger and stronger. So please don't do those things!
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Philosopher Jonathan Zap (zaporacle.com) provides the seed for this week's meditation: "Conscious reflection on the past can deepen the soul and provide revelations of great value for the present and future. On the other hand, returning to the past obsessively out of emotional addiction can be a massive draining of vitality needed for full engagement with the present." So which will it be, Cancerian? One way or another, you are likely to be pulled back toward the old days and the old ways. I'll prefer it if you re-examine your history and extract useful lessons from the past instead of wallowing in dark nostalgia and getting lost in fruitless longing.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Picture a TV satellite dish on the roof of a peasant's shack in rural Honduras. Imagine a gripping rendition of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata played on the mandolin. Visualize the Dalai Lama quoting Chris Rock a bit out of context but with humorous and dramatic effect. Got all that? Next, imagine that these three scenes are metaphors for your metaphysical assignment in the coming week. Need another hint? OK. Think about how you can make sure that nothing gets lost in the dicey translations you'll be responsible for making.