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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If you traveled 300 million years back in time, you might freak out in abject fear as you encountered dragonflies as big as eagles and cockroaches the size of dogs. But since you're quite safe from those monsters here in the present, there's no need to worry yourself sick about them. Similarly, if you managed to locate a time machine and return to an earlier phase of your current life, you'd come upon certain events that upset you and derailed you way back then. And yet the odds are very high that you're not going to find a time machine. So maybe you could agree to relinquish all the anxiety you're still carrying from those experiences that can no longer upset and derail you. Now would be an excellent moment to do so.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): To prepare for her role in the film The Help , actress Jessica Chastain forced herself to gain 15 pounds. It was tough, because she normally follows a very healthy diet. The strategy that worked best was to ingest a lot of calorie-heavy, estrogen-rich ice cream made from soybeans. To be in alignment with current cosmic rhythms, it would make sense for you to fatten yourself up, too, Virgo - metaphorically speaking, that is. I think you'd benefit from having more ballast, more gravitas. You need to be sure you're well-anchored and not easy to push around. It's nearly time to take an unshakable stand for what you care about most.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In a famous Monty Python sketch, a Hungarian tourist goes into a British tobacconist's store to buy cigarettes. Since he doesn't speak English, he consults a phrase book to find the right words. "My hovercraft is full of eels," he tells the clerk, who's not sure what he means. The tourist tries again: "Do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?" Again, the clerk is confused. In the coming week, Libra, I foresee you having to deal with communications that are equally askew. Be patient, please. Try your best to figure out the intentions and meanings behind the odd messages you're presented with. Your translating skills are at a peak, fortunately, as are your abilities to understand what other people - even fuzzy thinkers - are saying.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There are modern Chinese painters who use oil paints on canvas to create near-perfect replicas of famous European masterpieces. So while the genuine copy of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" is worth over $100 million, you can buy an excellent copy on the Internet for less than $100. If you're faced with a comparable choice in the coming week - whether to go with a pricey original or a cheaper but good facsimile, I suggest you take the latter. For your current purposes, you just need what works, not what gives you prestige or bragging rights.