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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "Dear Astrology Guy: I have been reading your horoscopes since I was 19. For a while, I liked them. They were fun riddles that made me think. But now I've soured on them. I'm sick and tired of you asking me to transform myself. You just keep pushing and pushing, never satisfied, always saying it's time to improve myself or get smarter or fix one of my bad habits. It's too much! I can't take it any more! Sometimes I just want to be idle and lazy. Your horoscopes piss me off! — Crabby Capricorn." Dear Crabby: I've got some good news. In the coming week, you are completely excused from having to change anything about yourself or your life. Stay exactly the same! Be frozen in time. Resist the urge to tinker. Take a vacation from life's relentless command to evolve.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Young art student Andrzej Sobiepan sneaked into Poland's National Museum with a painting he had done himself and managed to surreptitiously mount it on one of the walls. It hung there for a while before authorities noticed it and took it down. "I decided that I will not wait 30 or 40 years for my works to appear at a place like this," he said. "I want to benefit from them in the here and now." This is the kind of aggressive self-expression I'd like to see you summon in the coming weeks, Aquarius. Don't wait for the world to come and invite you to do what you want to do. Invite yourself. P.S. The English translation of Sobiepan's Polish last name means "his own master." What can you do to be more of your own master?
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Before any system can leap to a higher level of organization, says poet Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge, it has to undergo dissolution. "Unraveling or disintegrating is a vital, creative event making room for the new," she declares. Guess what time it is for the system we all know and love as YOU, Pisces? That's right: It's a perfect moment to undo, dismantle, and disperse . . . as well as to unscramble, disentangle, and disencumber. Be of good cheer! Have faith that you will be generating the conditions necessary for the rebirth that will follow. "To change from one reality to another," writes Wooldridge, "a thing first must turn into nothing." (Her book is Poemcrazy.)
Homework: If you'd like to join the Flaming Jewel Church of Living Outside of Time, simply smash a clock or watch with a hammer on February 1 at exactly 12:20 p.m.