ARIES (March 21-April 19 ): Imagine this scene, as described by Seattle-based video artist Michael Douglas. "Sometimes a tree falls down in a field of cows, and the cows walk over to it and stare at it. It used to be standing and now it's on the ground. There's something different in the field and the cows start to hang out around the tree and watch it like it's television, attracted to the rupture in the order of things. They gather around it for months, even after they completely forget why they started doing it." I think there's a comparable scene going on in your life right now, Aries. People you care about are in a daze, seemingly hypnotized by a certain "rupture in the order of things" that took place some time ago. In my opinion, it's your task to wake them up, gently if possible, and motivate them to move on.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You're an animal! And I mean that in the best senses of the word. Your vitality is heading toward peak levels, and your body is as smart as it gets. If you were ever going to act as if every move you make is a dance, now would be the time to do it. If you ever wanted to explore the righteous blending of grace and power, this is a perfect moment. Give yourself permission to be a fluid bolt of ingenious fun, Taurus. Play hard and sweet, with sublime ferocity.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "Make the invisible dark force beautiful." That was the first line of the horoscope I wrote for you in my dream last night. Here's what came next: "Create a song out of your moans. Brag about your wounds. Dance reverently on the graves of your enemies." Does any of this make sense to you so far? It all seemed perfectly reasonable and helpful in my dream. "Sneak a gift to your bad self. Dissolve the ties that bind you to hollow intelligence. Seek the angel near the funky gulley that winds through no man's land. Dig for treasure in the muddy puddle where the single lily grows." That's it, Gemini -- my dream of your horoscope. If you can align yourself with its spirit, I bet you'll be primed for the waking-life opportunities that are headed your way.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Writing in the Journal of Medical Ethics, psychologist Richard Bentall proposed that happiness be reclassified as a "psychiatric disorder" -- a pathology that should be treated with therapy. "Happiness is statistically abnormal," he argued. It "consists of a discrete cluster of symptoms, is associated with a range of cognitive abnormalities, and probably reflects the abnormal functioning of the central nervous system." If he's correct, Cancerian, you may have a problem. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you're about to be besieged by a massive influx of good feelings. It may be hard for you to fend off surges of unreasonable joy, well-being, and gratitude. So let me ask you: Are you prepared to enter into rebel mode as you flaunt your abnormal bliss?