ARIES (March 21-April 19):
I apologize in advance for the seemingly excessive abundance of good news I'm about to report. If you find it hard to believe, I won't hold your skepticism against you. But I do want you to know that every prediction is warranted by the astrological omens. Ready for the onslaught? 1. In the coming weeks, you could fall forever out of love with a wasteful obsession. 2. You might also start falling in love with a healthy obsession. 3. You can half-accidentally snag a blessing you have been half-afraid to want. 4. You could recall a catalytic truth whose absence has been causing you a problem ever since you forgot it. 5. You could reclaim the mojo that you squandered when you pushed yourself too hard a few months ago.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
August is Adopt-a-Taurus month. It's for all of your tribe, not just the orphans and exiles and disowned rebels. Even if you have exemplary parents, the current astrological omens suggest that you require additional support and guidance from wise elders. So I urge you to be audacious in rounding up trustworthy guardians and benefactors. Go in search of mentors and fairy godmothers. Ask for advice from heroes who are further along the path that you'd like to follow. You are ready to receive teachings and direction you weren't receptive to before.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
When a parasite or other irritant slips inside an oyster's shell, the mollusk's immune system besieges the intruder with successive layers of calcium carbonate. Eventually, a pearl may form. I suspect that this is a useful metaphor for you to contemplate in the coming days as you deal with the salt in your wound or the splinter in your skin. Before you jump to any conclusions, though, let me clarify. This is not a case of the platitude, "Whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger." Keep in mind that the pearl is a symbol of beauty and value, not strength.
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
It's your lucky day! Spiritual counsel comparable to what you're reading here usually sells for $99.95. But because you're showing signs that you're primed to outwit bad habits, I'm offering it at no cost. I want to encourage you! Below are my ideas for what you should focus on. (But keep in mind that I don't expect you to achieve absolute perfection.) 1. Wean yourself from indulging in self-pity and romanticized pessimism. 2. Withdraw from connections with people who harbour negative images of you. 3. Transcend low expectations wherever you see them in play. 4. Don't give your precious life energy to demoralizing ideas and sour opinions.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
You're not doing a baby chick a favour by helping it hatch. For the sake of its well-being, the bird needs to peck its way out of the egg. It's got to exert all of its vigour and willpower in starting its new life. That's a good metaphor for you to meditate on. As you escape from your comfortable womb-jail and launch yourself toward inspiration, it's best to rely as much as possible on your own instincts. Friendly people who would like to provide assistance may inadvertently cloud your access to your primal wisdom. Trust yourself deeply and wildly.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
I hear you're growing weary of wrestling with ghosts. Is that true? I hope so. The moment you give up the fruitless struggle, you'll become eligible for a unique kind of freedom that you have not previously imagined. Here's another rumour I've caught wind of: You're getting bored with an old source of sadness that you've used to motivate yourself for a long time. I hope that's true, too. As soon as you shed your allegiance to the sadness, you will awaken to a sparkling font of comfort you've been blind to. Here's one more story I've picked up through the grapevine: You're close to realizing that your attention to a mediocre treasure has diverted you from a more pleasurable treasure. Hallelujah!
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
Could it be true that the way out is the same as the way in? And that the so-called "wrong" answer is almost indistinguishable from the right answer? And that success, at least the kind of success that really matters, can only happen if you adopt an upside-down, inside-out perspective? In my opinion, the righteous answer to all these questions is "YESSS???!!!" — at least for now. I suspect that the most helpful approach will never be as simple or as hard as you might be inclined to believe.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
Your strength seems to make some people uncomfortable. I don't want that to become a problem for you. Maybe you could get away with toning down your potency at other times, but not now. It would be sinful to act as if you're not as competent and committed to excellence as you are. But having said that, I also urge you to monitor your behaviour for excess pride. Some of the resistance you face when you express your true glory may be due to the shadows cast by your true glory. You could be tempted to believe that your honourable intentions excuse secretive manipulations. So please work on wielding your clout with maximum compassion and responsibility.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Did you honestly imagine that there would eventually come a future when you'd have your loved ones fully "trained?" Did you fantasize that sooner or later you could get them under control, purged of their imperfections and telepathically responsive to your every mood? If so, now is a good time to face the fact that those longings will never be fulfilled. You finally have the equanimity to accept your loved ones exactly as they are. Uncoincidentally, this adjustment will make you smarter about how to stir up soulful joy in your intimate relationships.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
You may experience a divine visitation as you clean a toilet in the coming weeks. You might get a glimpse of a solution to a nagging problem while you're petting a donkey or paying your bills or waiting in a long line at the bank. Catch my drift, Capricorn? I may or may not be speaking metaphorically here. You could meditate up a perfect storm as you devour a doughnut. While flying high over the Earth in a dream, you might spy a treasure hidden in a pile of trash down below. If I were going to give your immediate future a mythic title, it might be "Finding the Sacred in the Midst of the Profane."
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
I've worked hard for many years to dismantle my prejudices. To my credit, I have even managed to cultivate compassion for people I previously demonized, like evangelical Christians, drunken jocks, arrogant gurus, and career politicians. But I must confess that there's still one group toward which I'm bigoted: super-rich bankers. I wish I could extend to them at least a modicum of amiable impartiality. How about you, Aquarius? Do you harbour any hidebound biases that shrink your ability to see life as it truly is? Have you so thoroughly rationalized certain narrow-minded perspectives and judgmental preconceptions that your mind is permanently closed? If so, now is a favourable time to dissolve the barriers and stretch your imagination way beyond its previous limits.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
Are you lingering at the crux of the crossroads, restless to move on but unsure of which direction will lead you to your sweet destiny? Are there too many theories swimming around in your brain, clogging up your intuition? Have you absorbed the opinions of so many "experts" that you've lost contact with your own core values? It's time to change all that. You're ready to quietly explode in a calm burst of practical lucidity. First steps: Tune out all the noise. Shed all the rationalizations. Purge all the worries. Ask yourself, "What is the path with heart?"
Homework: What if you didn't feel compelled to have an opinion about every hot-button issue? Try living opinion-free for a week. testify at Trithrooster@gmail.com.