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"Throw them in the toaster, wait two minutes and the whole house smells like chocolate chips - it's just awesome," he says.
Since this is the first time Simon has lived on his own and tried to feed himself, it's pretty much Ichiban noodles for lunch, when he has time to run home and eat, and Pop-Tarts, Eggos, Shreddies or toast for breakfast.
"Then we've got pasta every single night. It's just awesome," he says. "Like, pasta never gets old. You can throw wieners in there (and) it will taste different. We had tuna; beans; hot dogs and rice last night - so good. My plate was stacked so high because we used pretty much all the fresh stuff in our fridge because payday is tomorrow and we'll have to stock up."
Moving to the fridge, now denuded of anything fresh, on the top shelf we find a package of pretty mouldy BC-grown Roots Organic oregano behind a tin of half-used Western Family tomato sauce, with the tin lid still wedged inside and another smaller can of half-used tomato sauce with the same wedged-lid effect. There's also Fontaine Santé artichoke and asiago dip, a Philadelphia cream cheese herb and spice dip, and Heluva Good jalapeno/cheddar sour cream dip. Many chips are eaten in this household.
On the middle shelf is a half-drunk Kokanee (likely left from Simon's birthday on the 3rd); a rustic brown teapot full of cold Red Rose orange pekoe tea; and a slice of some kind of old, dried up, unwrapped cheese coated with something wet, possibly beer. That's it.
On the bottom shelf, we find a 12-pack Kokanee box with five bottles of beer, which, according to Simon, tastes better than all other beer and, unlike other beer claiming to be Canadian, is truly Canadian; a white, empty Nester's Liquor Store bag with the delivery number on it: 938-BEER; plus three Kootenay beers left from a six-pack marking other birthday celebrations.
There are no fruit and veggie drawers in this fridge.
On to the door, we find, amongst other things, two bottles of Aunt Jemima syrup for all those Eggos; some seedless raspberry jam; barbecue sauce and an almost empty four-litre jug of milk. But the highlights are a partially empty bottle of Labrot & Graham Woodford Reserve Distiller's Select Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 45.2 proof, and a bottle of Bushmills Irish Whiskey (not so popular).